HowTo: Flash Mob Like a Boss

Watch enough Glee and Buffy's Once More, With Feeling and it will never fail to instill the urge to do something stupid in public. And hey, what better way to do this than to drag others down with you? Welcome to the world of flash mobs, and in just a few simple steps you too could be arrested!

Step 1 Start small, maybe a Korean Pizza Hut flash mob to get your feet wet.

Before you go pro, experiment. Let's take a look at the video above. The Korean pop band F(x) did a great in-store flash mob, for all three people eating there to see! They worked for months to hold that pizza just right, and the results show. Remember, it only works if you're a girl and gorgeous, if you're a guy then you've got 3 minutes to leave the premises.

The second part of the video shows you all the moves, so if you're interested, go ahead and copy what they've set up. Here in the states, you might not have a Pizza Hut near you to dance in, but improvise! Use the same dance moves at a CVS drugstore holding, I don't know, a soap or something. Next time you're at Kmart? Show those people at isle 23A that you've got what it takes. All that matters is that you start small and work your way up from there.

Step 2 Plan full scale invasion

Now that you've got your feet wet with a flash mob of six people or less, let's move up to a flash mob of under a thousand. Don't get too cocky and plan a 5k flash mob just yet.

That's the making-of featurette for the 400+ T-Mobile dance. It doesn't just happe- ah just kidding, it does. All the permits, hiring volunteers, all-night practices, and extensive video camera network setup to catch all the action is just extra. The flash mob would have gone fine without it. Here is the finished product:

Well, there you go. It's so easy to make flash mobs that a third step is not necessary!

Tips

• If you get caught in a flash mob never give them your real name. If possible resist arrest and run in a panic-like fashion.
• When you think and imagine how wonderful it will be (to do your own flash mob) in your mind, you are right. It will go exactly as you imagine the first time, or even better, before the first time!
• Once you move up in flash mob numbers and have thousands in your command, try taking over a small country. There are lots of little islands somewhere in the Pacific, you could start there.
• If for the strangest one in a billion reason something goes wrong, blame it on the Democrats. I hear you get a free tea bag with every accusation. I have 3 boxes full right now.
• Popular songs are easy, but to stand out maybe you should flash dance on songs that suck. Check out the last twenty years of MTV for inspiration.

Bonus!

What's my favorite flash mob? Hmm.. That would have to be in the country synonymous with flash dancing: Singapore!

Anything that has a Grease song is elevated into greatness, this is no exception. Now if there was only a Music Man flash mob, my bucket list on this earth would be complete:

Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital "F"
That rhymes with "M"
And that stands for Flash Mob

Ah, a man can dream..